Saturday, February 9, 2013

Feelings

'Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfilment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart'      - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Hi all


So lets get into my reactions on my pregnancy - Shock and Disbelief is how I would describe it. I realised I had missed my period so my first thought was that I am very regular since I was 14, so I knew something was up. So off we went (the man and I) to buy a stick and bought the cheapest I could get coz those tests are expensive and went home to do the deed. Longest 5 minutes of my life let me tell you and what I got for it was a strong line and a faded line!!!!!! So we decided to wait till the end of the month that way I definitely would have missed a whole month.

The next month, we decided instead of going to buy another test rather just go to the free clinic and get tested there. Which we did and found out we really were expecting. Funny thing about that day, my mom had been calling me on my home number and counldn't get hold of me so she had called my cell phone and was worried why I hadn't called her back. So I had to tell her where I was, and lets just say, she was seriously excited. Even know we were only about 8 weeks pregnant by then, she was over the moon about it.

So by this point I knew I was expecting but it had not yet sunk in so at 12 weeks, we went back to the clinic and did more tests, HIV, blood pressure, Medical History, first parenting class for my boo and I as well as breasts examination. And we finally got to see the baba on screen and that moment made it real for me. Really real. Like oh my word, I have a human growing in me.

There is something amazing about finding out that I am going to be a mother. It seems like my life began at that moment, seeing my child for the first time, knowing I was going to carry this person to birth and raise it, nurture it, protect it and love it forever. It made and gave meaning to my life. I looked back at my life the last 10 years and realised everything I had done prepared me for this new journey.

- I Had taught kindergarten and first grade as well as tutoring and summer camps, so I knew how to be around small children to teens as well as young adults. I had learned patience, compassion, knew what books were appropriate for what age group, this was the same case with games and songs.

- I Had moved to India to learn Ayurveda but ultimately had learned about the human body, stress management, Yoga, alternative medicines as well as how to massage babies, pregnant woman, self massages, elderly, men and woman.

- All of my clothes were now, when examining my wardrobe, basically maternity wear!!!! seriously I had subconsciously bought Kaftans  tops, yoga pants, harem pants, loose fitting dresses. Nothing was tight or youngish, everything I had was geared to covering my body and basically motherly but chic.

- I had been taking care of my body, skin and hair. Exercising  eating properly, taking my vitamins and drinking great amounts of water. Basically I was preparing myself to carry to child.

- I was maturing and moving away from the negativity of friends, places, circumstances.  I was in fact clearing my life and ridding it of people and things that no longer brought value to my life.

Now here I am at 27 weeks, going into my last trimester and I am  a much more calmer, patient and happier person. I heard my baba's heartbeat this week for the first time using a doppler and it was awesome!!!! The most unbelievable feeling in the world is when my baba kicks and responds to my voice or to music we play in the house.

So right now, am busy sorting out the nursery  buying clothes with the very generous help of my mother and just trying to get comfortable at night to sleep. The next few weeks, will be intense for me, sonars, doctors appointment to sort out whether I am going the natural route or C-section, birthing classes as well as just enjoying these last few weeks. Everyday, I get closer to my due date, I become more in love with this person in me.


Love, Joy and total Bliss


2 comments:

  1. This is amazing and love how you expressed your experience in this post. Many blessings darling!

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  2. Thank you so much!!!!!! Am so blessed at this point in my life, everyday is a Blessing and am so filled with unmentionable love towards my unborn child.

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