Life is worth living, if you give it half a chance......

I am blessed, and I know this
So why did it take me so long to figure it out?

Maybe, its due to the reason, I was living it.
My life, I mean.
I was running around, not trusting myself
here, there and everywhere
apart from my soul and spirit
and most importantly, my heart.

Now, I know, life is worth living
in this moment, because thats all that counts.

I stood back, and let life show me her secrets and what she has in store for me
and all I can say is
life is worth living, if you give it half a chance.
Its worth it all.
Just need to believe and trust in all.

packing whilst I dream..

As I turn in my sleep, I begin to pack, only what is most important, do I take on my journey. Small momentos, little wisps of wisdom and my soul as my compass. The road ahead is bumpy and long, somedark and light, filled with so much that needs me to see. My camera, my books, some clothes. what will nurture me, I will find along this path. I will travel over deserts, through the rain, valleys, cities, towns,, hearts and more spirits, who are also searching................ the journey is long, and I look forward to taking the first step. However, I must continue my packing.....

Nighttime calling

Its calling again, can you hear it?!!!!

There it is,
just a whisper, so small, so soft, just for my ears......
Its telling me a secret, so sweet, so sound,
I have never heard so sincere,
am I scared? nope, its fascinating....,
secrets in the night, tales of wisdom, thoughts, long gone by, little stories
truths, lies, fantasies,
all true, all lies.
The kiss on my lips, on my neck, on my breasts.....
so on and so forth,
I cant stop, I dont it want to stop.
What do you do?, when your body commands your mind, every emotion, every sense
every smell seems forever new.
I have never felt touch that was so light,
it seems to escape my finger tips
oh they seem so light, do you feel them?
my touch, my lips, my hands,
my love.
I give it so freely,
my all.
Now what ?
as I took into your eyes, beyond you, forever and far
can you see it?
its a secret, it calls on me, while it whispers to you.
Love me, and I will show you all the secrets of life
I hold them, deep within me,
so deep
you only have to search within me, to find them.
Only the truth, can conquer, only the truth shall seek.
Only the truth shall find.

Can you hear it? Its calling again......
Take my hand, I will lead you. all the way, truth, shall set us all free.
Hear it, feel it, believe it and finally, live it.
Its not so loud, it whispers softly...
but only for your pure heart, in it, shall it, forever more and beyond.

Can you hear it? Its calling again......... whispers
close your eyes, breathe in the sounds, my hearts music
its there. For you and me.
Allways there.
Can you hear it?

Beginning

The beginning is always today - Mary Wollstonecraft

This is a bit long.

I always get excited when a new month begins, because its a chance for me to start something concrete until the last day of the month. And this time its no different. My goals for this month are easy: get my body into shape, get busy on my novel, work with my hair. Simple.

Not quite.......

My goal weight is 54 kgs, at the moment I weigh 67. So my plan of action is water, water, water, Pilates, Yoga, water, cut down on sweets, junk and big evening portions and more water. I have already quit smoking, my last cigarette was in March, my last drink was in June and the last time I hit a night club was last year, (Its been a dry season for me). Plus, I don't drink coffee, I no longer drink any fizzy, sugar laden drinks and my tea intake is quite minimal. I need to fit into a pair of size 38 jeans, only for the simple reason, that they are brand new and I am way tooooooo broke to go buy a new pair. They were bought for me last year, by my well meaning aunt. And I really really really want to wear skinny jeans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My hair, I love my hair, I really do. I shaved it 3 years ago ( my brother went to town on my head with his clippers), and I had the most amazing shower ever. It was so liberating not having to worry about what to do with my hair. Until, the first little hairs came out then I was lost. Really lost. More lost than lost. Weeks later, I was back to the relaxer. After that, I figured, if I am going to go natural, maybe I should do some research first and plan ahead. So I did. I read, read, read, Everything I could about natural hair, the styles and what products to use. Only two problems arose.

1. I was living in Austria, and there were no natural haired sisters around.

2. All the products in the shops were in German and not meant for natural hair.

So what I did, was shave off my head again and start over, only this time, once the hair grew, I would get my sister to braid it for me. (I was lucky enough, that my mom sent us tons of hair extensions, and even luckier that my hair had worked in a hair salon and could braid). I happily went along, alternating between braids and cornrows until I went back to Namibia last year in December, when I had my hair cut again. This time very short of the sides and longish on the top. After two weeks in Windhoek, I came to Abuja and let me tell you, the weather and water have been wonderful on my head.

So, for about 8 months now, my hair has been in cornrows every two weeks and it has grown. I cant tie it up yet, but its getting there. I don't do much with it, except, wash, air dry, oil, cornrow and leave for two weeks, then deep condition and repeat.

I did buy some products though, I couldn't get everything I wanted but, I am happy with what I have thus far. So will see, what will happen end of August. I am hoping that it will be long enough for me to at least tie it up in a ponytail and also if I can get some Henna, than I really want to try that.

My novel. I have been writing since I could remember. I started writing short stories and poetry as a youngin and was very Blessed to have some work published. So for the last few years, I decided that I wanted to get my story across. You know, that saying that everyone has a novel in them. Well, I kinda, like have, maybe - three or four. So for now, I am seriously starting on my first one.Again. (but that's a different story)

Thus far, I am very proud of myself. I have a theme, characters, location and name for my book. That's all. Nothing more and nothing left. The WHOLE, novel is in my head. But, I have taken action, For the next 30 days, I will write, just write and write. I will get that story out of my head and into my laptop format. I refuse for it to live in my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even know why it likes being in my head so much, believe me, there is nothing in there, but facts on African Politics, Psychology, childcare, Criminal Minds and recipes........really nothing much goes on in my mind than that.

Anyhow, I think, I have wasted enough writing time. So its back to my novel and trying to get it out...............maybe I should tempt it, by pretending to write about an African leader, who is a criminal mastermind, who uses Psychology with children whilst cooking from a great recipe.............

Laters

My Dance, movement, my song.

I feel it,
every time, I walk
its in the wind, it blows softly
like, my kisses

I dance to it,
everytime, the sun shines,
she smiles to me,I
enjoying my movements.

I breathe it,
everytime the rain falls
upon my window, telling me secrets only
I know

I embrace it
everytime, a women walks my way,
with a certain swagger from her hips
telling me, she is ready for the gift

I smell it,
everytime I am in a garden
and the flowers open to me
giving me the sweet scent

I enjoy it,
everytime, a man, who knows who he truely is
walks along side me

I love it
Because I know,
as long as I am alive
I am, ME.

Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by its breathtaking moments.

- Michael Vance

New Changes

'Man changes by growth, not by magic' Timberline W. Riggs

Somehow, I cant seem to log into my old blog, so I have decided to incorporate that blog and this new one. I will still continue to write poetry, but will also add some photography, some fashion, my travels, recipes and of course crossing off items of my bucket list.

Two of the biggest changes to date, is that I have moved continents again. After living in Vienna for 8 years, I moved to Abuja, last year. Have been here for almost 9 months now, but I am feeling the itchy feet again, so I could be making another move soon.

My second change, is that 2 years ago I did the Big Chop, basically that means I shaved my head. I really did, 3 times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first time, was such a shocker that after a while, I really needed (or thought I needed) a relaxer, so I went back, to my relaxer ways. The second time, my hair didnt grow back the way I wanted, so I chopped it off again. So now here I am, with a cute fro, and no products.........

Its very hard to get natural products here in Nigeria, and trust me, I have tried. Also, it seems many companies are reluctant to send anything via the postal services here, so its hard to get anything shipped to me, but I am a sister that always makes a plan.

As for now, I just wash my hair with normal shampoo, condition it and also deep condition it with hair mayonnaise ( I don't think its a natural hair product, but at this point its all I could get) and then I keep my hair cornrowed. I haven't had a hair cut since December, but thus far my hair is about to my ears. Am not sure about the type thou, I think I am somewhere between a 3c/4a, am still trying to figure that out. Or something like that.

So will definitely keep you updated about my natural hair journey as well.

Be Blessed,
Happy
give Love and be Loved
afterall, thats all
we all really want