My Tell All......

A bad book is as much of a labor to write as a good one, it comes as sincerely from the author's soul.

- Aldous Huxley

Hi and good morning.

I was pretty busy last week therefore I didn't get to post anything, but will be adding a new addition to my blog. I have noticed some seriously cute and quaint (I love this word!!!!!) stores in Stockholm, so I have decided since A) my bank account is hating and B) I carry my camera around at all times, because......you never know, there may be a bank robbery and I could be called as a witness and just at that particular moment, I have my camera with me or better still, I see a Famous person, either way, the camera comes in handy. So I will be going window shopping and taking photos just for you, me and my Vision Board. So ya, keep waiting for that one.

Now, back to the reason for this post.

Last year, I started writing my novel because I had some bright fabulous idea and well everything was going great, until I realized that my characters are boring and lead such crap lives. I mean, my life is way more exciting then what I was writing. So I decided to put that on hold, until my imagination gets itself on track. So in the mean time, it got me to thinking, I lead a pretty colorful life, I mean, IF I WERE to write a TELL ALL I would have everything from Sex (not me but other persons who have spoken way to much about their private lives), Drugs (not me, but yeah, some persons have said way more than they should have), Strippers, Violence, English Pubs and pies (every good book must have a Steak and Kidney pie storyline at the very least) as well as international travel, dodgy persons and so much more (small kids that will, in a few years be on a MTV reality show - boy my teaching days are a complete trilogy by themselves).

Of course I would have to use a Pseudonym as well as change names to protect the stupid and not so innocent and a few blonds (its surprising how many blonds I know that I could write about). I mean, I wouldn't plaster my picture at the back of my book for obvious reasons, My Mama and my family might not be so impressed with my shenanigans, my friends would physically hurt me and other people who know people (who wouldn't want to get their hands dirty) would also cause bodily harm to me. I could add that also, you know...... as a Posthumous book. Possible suspects to my suspicious death. Then I wouldn't change ANYONES name!!!!!!!!!!

This is an idea.

I am off to ponder more as well as see how best to protect myself against harm and lawsuits. My budget does not include lawsuits. Not in the financial year of 2011/2012 anyways.

Love. Blessings and A Lawsuit free First Novel.

X-Rays and Foot and Leg pictures With blue Nail polish.

I can be changed by what happens to me, but i refuse to be reduced by it.

- Maya Angelou

Happy Weekend Everyone,

So I was looking through my old X-rays, because I need to go do new tests, to see what actually has been going on for Real with my bones and my hips. These X-rays were done a few years ago 5 or 6 years, but basically, I didn't have them done to often because until now nothing changed.

Sorry for the picture Quality, its the best I could do, I had to ask my brother to take these shots.

So this first one, is the back of my legs. The issue is of course the left leg/ foot. Thats what I need to stretch out so that they are both the same.

Ok, so ummm, its not easy taking a photograph of an X-ray, believe me. This was taken 5/6 years ago. What you should be looking at, is the Left bones and the right bone. See the Difference? In actual fact, there is nothing to connect the left leg to the body, whereas the right leg is connected via the hip.
Here is a better shot, but now it on the opposite angle. My right leg is on the left of this shot and my left leg is on the right of this X-ray. I didnt realize I had turned it round until After I took the shot, but its the best I could get.
My left foot again, and now you can see, that one leg is on the ground (actually its a step) and the other isn't.
This is very very very bad, because, the front of my foot (meaning my toes) reaches the ground before the rest of the foot, so I need to constantly monitor my leg to make sure the Whole foot reaches, otherwise, its like taking 10 steps forward and 8 back.

So, yeah, that's basically, what I have been dealing with. I must say, the difference used to be a whole lot before. At one point it was 7 cm. And then it stayed 5cm difference for many years. I know most people wouldnt really understand what I mean about my leg issue so I will try to explain.

A problem like this means, that firstly, my spine isn't straight, so threw the years my spine has kind of shifted/curved.

Secondly, the leg which is normal, does have a lot of strain put on it, also in the X-ray, you notice, its bigger/fatter/thicker, than the left side.

Another problem, is that because there is *no hip* connecting the left leg, it pains A Lot. A whole lot, its a pain, that comes and goes, but in winter it hurts like nothing I can describe.

Also, my feet are small, but the left foot is much smaller than the right foot, so before when I used to go shoe shopping, I would have to buy 2 pairs, one for the left and one for the right. In the end I just always bought a big size for school which was boys camping boots and in summer some random sandals. I hated shoe shopping anyways, people staring at me and limited choices!!!!!! Until Now that is.

So, what I need to do, is somehow, stretch out the remainder. And go for new X-rays and see how this has affected my whole body. Check how my spine is holding up and how my hip is doing. And basically just do a complete body x-ray, just to know exactly whats going on.

So thats it. Have a fabulous weekend.

Love, Blessings and Blue Nail Polish

The Bald and The Braids (with everything in between).

Truth, and goodness, and beauty are but different faces of the same all.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hi , so with all the excitement going on in my life, my hair seems to be taking a back seat. But its holding up and jealousy isn't an issue, it aint Hating like my Bank account. I think, I mentioned before, that I went 'natural' a few times, I actually Big Chopped thrice. The first time, my brother did it for me and the next morning, I woke up and was in total denial, I honestly didn't think it through about what I was going to do with a Bald Head And it was in the middle of winter. But, I must say, those first few showers were pure Heaven. However as soon as it grew into a TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro), I think I braided it and then ended up relaxing it again. And that cycle repeated it self until 2009 November, when I just had it cut off the sides and the flat ironed at the top.

When I moved to Abuja, Nigeria, I would alternate between cornrows and wash and go's. But I promised myself to grow it out and see how long, I could go without chemicals. Its now, February 2011 and I have been natural ever since. Not a bad feat. It was and still is a learning process, but one that I enjoy very much.

Below are some photo's just about my hair journey.

This was taken the first Time I big chopped, we (my sister and I) were invited to a birthday party and it was our first time showing off, so to speak. After the initial shock wore off, my friends and most of my family warmed to the idea. My parents were the most shocked I think, but they finally came around. I think, it was the fact that both my sister and I both shaved our heads at the same time, and my brother had his hair cropped as well, so there were three balded headed heads.

This was in Abuja, Nigeria. The sides are shaved and the top was a simple wash n go.

This was December 2010, after I took out the braids that I had in since October.

These last two pictures are my most recent. I actually braided my own hair ------Yay YouTube!!!!!!!!!! I learned, studied and just went to town (in my case -my head ) with it. It was a long process, 5 hours the first night, 3 the next and then 3 the next. But, I am happy with the results.

The plan, is to stay with these braids (just make them tighter if they begin to get loose) until mid March or early April, remove them, asses the hair length, leave it loose for May (my birthday month) and then braid again in June/July - alternating with cornrows till December.

Right now, my hair reaches my shoulders and I want it to be at least bra strap length by December hopefully and this process seems to work best. I have found that if I just leave my hair and do very little to it, even when its loose, then it grows pretty quickly (I think so anyways).

So yep, thats it on the hair front. Its growing and growing and just growing beautifully.

Love, Blessings and Chemical Free.

Important matters like maybe joining a gym........

The good news is that we are making progress. The bad news is that we're doing too little and moving much too slowly.

- Sam Nunn

Hiya, so I survived Valentine's Day. Nuff said.

The above quote totally fits today's post. I stopped the Yoga and Pilates. Ok, so I didn't actually just stop. I had to go to town everyday last week - job hunting / applications and so forth. And I made the effort to walk. I never once took public transport. I just walked back and forth, so yeah. I did this firstly in order to 'break' in my shoes and secondly, just to see how much walking I could actually manage with 'the limp'. And when I got home, I tried to do some exercises, but boy did that hurt. so ummm, last week. Nothing, Nix, Nada.

I found my Pilates workout whilst living in Abuja, its a Youtube clip called 'Winsor Pilates - Buns and Thighs' and well its great for me, the stretching is fab and even though my bum hurts like crazy the following morning, I kept it up (lol).

As for Yoga, I have the Yoga for Dummies DVD (Actually I have the Pilates for Dummies also, but I prefer the Winsor). So I am at a point here, I personally think I need some professional help, you know like joining a gym and getting an instructor. Only 2 things are stopping me.

1. My bank account is still hating and joining the gym wasn't in the 2011 budget. Believe me, very few things are in the 2011 budget. I am pretty sure, I Am not in the 2011 budget. Don't get me wrong, Its my budget, but I ain't in it.

2. When, I used to wear the built up shoes, it would bother me going into a gym and seeing all these perfect bodies, I really didn't care so much about what the bodies looked like, I was more concerned that they all had normal shoes and I would go into the gym with special shoes, then I would have to explain to my instructor what I can and couldn't do. And I would always feel eyes on me. so half the time, I would go extra early and wear my baggiest pants to cover my legs and then I would leave the gym sweaty and stinky, Because taking a shower in a public place freaks me out and also, taking a shower in itself is another ordeal and I just didn't want people gawking at me, whilst in all my naked glory.

Which brings me to this current state of Affairs. Now that I am wearing proper shoes, I really really REALLY would love to join a gym, however, and this is the weired part, I don't mind the limping (because it is only temporary) but because I am constantly in motion (when I am walking) People don't really see it. But if I were to join a gym (its free for the first month - I figured, I could get 6 gyms all over the city and go every month (I am trying to think if that's illegal or wrong). It doesn't sound wrong to me. But then my Moral compass isn't working right now, what with it being winter and all - it fell in the snow. And desperate times call for desperate measures and Don't Judge Me!!!!!!!!! I am pretty sure you have thought of it at least once or twice. Anyways.

See now, I lost my train of thought.

Ah yes, the gym. Right, so it kinda bothers me a little because its all the memories coming back that I am trying to get over. And I would be constantly worried that maybe people are staring at me, I am pretty shy actually. Its a hidden quality, that not many people, but believe me. I am shy. I really AM. I show it in a loud abrasive manner. But there is really a shy person, hidden in my loud shouting in your face attitude. Its the Tinkerbell in me.

So, what to do? what to do?

Here are some pictures that I found on Pilates and Yoga. Let me just say this, apart from being naturally shy and I am also naturally lazy. I only do certain things if I am really Really Really REALLY in the mood. So I just googled - Pilates and Yoga and pasted the first pictures that came on. Simple and Klaar.

I am off to read about what is illegal and certain grey areas. And just to have a look at exactly what the prison suit for women looks like because I can't rock ORANGE. A light pink,some blue, some green, some light brown, but no Orange. Also, I decided a long time ago, that bars wasn't part of my decor plans ever. Ever. EVER!!!!

Ohhh, I love her hair!!!!!!!!

See the lady, in the second row, picture number 2? I wish!!!!!!!!!!! And the one below her, in white. And actually above her also. Wow!!!!!! Why come I cant do that?
I honestly think, the middle one, is how shall I put this in a lady like manner, she is ummm doing number 2 in the woods. Maybe its just me. But, I don't think I actually need to learn this move.

I bought a ball for these exercises as well.

Ok. ....... Please don't think, I would actually join a gym and keep it moving for 6 months. I am not so off center. At least I hope I am not, there was that one incident in Primary school, but I swear it was Peer Pressure!!!!!!!!!

I am just going to keep on keeping on with the Pilates and Yoga. Until I get my leg stretched and I win the Lotto or free Gym membership. Or date a guy who has his own gym. I would even consider dating a gym instructor.....now there's a thought.

Gotta go, need to check out Match.com or Chemistry.com or Zoosk to find me a gym instructor in my area.

I just realized its a bit sad that I know these dating website.

Peace, Love and No Orange jumpsuits.

And then I cried......

An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.

- Buddha

My gosh, February is almost over, I know I said dont stay tooo long but come on now!!!!!! February isnt even giving us a chance to say how you doing, I guess for 'All the Single Ladies' aka and myself, thats not a bad thing. That day needs to come and go quickly, but on to more important things.

Shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Beautiful Shoes!!!!!!

I decided last week, that I was going to pack all my built up ones away and only wear the normal types and since I didnt have winter shoes, on Monday, I went out and I bought myself a pair of boots. It was Heaven, walking into the store, knowing I didnt have to worry about the cut nor if I would need to return if it couldnt be cut. It was only, when I got home that I realized what I had just done. And then I cried. It was goood. It was a cleansing, sweet release of everything, I had been through and how I far I had come to get to this point in my life. I don't think, I will ever be able to full express what I am going through, but Its as close to Pure Bliss as I can imagine. I really have no actual words to really convey what is going on in my life right now.

I am not at the finish line yet, don't get me wrong, the leg hasnt stretched out completely, but I decided that me still wearing the old shoes, was imprisoning my mind into thinking, I couldn't go all the way, and even though for now, I am walking with a limp, that doesn't bother me. (I have always walked with a limp anyways-plus I told myself thats only temporary), The point was to get myself to a place where I know, this will happen for me and I need to start living like it is happening right now. Besides, walking with these shoes is in a way stretching the leg, so there, I get my exercise in, either way.

Now lets talk about my new babies. I needed something strong and beyond everything. So I found these Bad A.. shoes (excuse the French), and they just shouted out my name. I swear, I feel like a Rebel wearing these boots. They look Fierce, Powerful and Take no prisoners. When I wear them, which is every day since I bought them I feel like I can do anything.

My Bad Mama Jama Shoes

These are not your typical lady like shoes, honey.

For now, I am sticking to flats, but rest assured, come summer time, we will be in high heels, you can take that to the bank!!!!!!!!

So, my little shoe collection is growing day by day, I saw another pair that had my name on them, but my bank account is hating at the moment. Its all good though, One day, I my bank account and my shoe collection will be as one and When that fateful day comes we all Shall Celebrate. Or I will celebrate and I will let you all know about it.

Blessings, Love and the ever expanding shoe collection.